The dreams of my youth were fantastical dreams, uninhibited by doubts and fears. Limitations weren't even considered. In those days I would watch the Olympics and dream of being a world class swimmer. I would watch a play at the local Scera Shell and I would dream of being an actor. I listened to a motivational speaker and felt I could inspire the masses. I even imagined myself a young Kenny Chesney at one point.
Dreams carried on to young adulthood. My dream of being young and rich with my own business landed me in schemes that labeled me a sucker and cost a fair share of time and money never to be regained.
College, where dreams live and thrive and die, followed this pattern of inconsistent dreams. It began in high school when I was convinced I was going to be a doctor. Hell, I even memorized bones and parts of bones in Latin for extra credit. It was a dream I actually put some work towards for once. Eventually, that dream died to be filled by other dreams. Like many sleeping dreams these dreams are fuzzy. From pre-med I went to Pharmacy to Business to Parks, Recreation, and Tourism. As with all dreams, mine had to end, my dream of higher education ended there, with a four year degree, six to seven years in the making, in Parks, Recreation, and Tourism.
I'd like to say that like sleeping dreams I had no control over these dreams. However, that is not the case, and as any good man must I have to accept accountability. Dreams changed slowly from out of reach to within arms length.
For nearly all my life, regardless of what dream was occupying my mind, I was always dreaming of travel and adventure. That one dream, that always persisted, sometimes more so than other times, led me to this conjuncture of my life.
I ended up with a Sustainable Tourism Management emphasis with my degree mostly because it facilitated my dreaming. I sat in classrooms with like-minded, or near like-minded, individuals discussing various aspects of travel and recreation. I took a class in which its only purpose was to discuss every country, state, and region as a travel destination. We discussed what to do, when to go, and why to go. Each destination received a rating as its value as a travel destination according to the professor, who was justly qualified as he had been to every single one of these destinations. Every country, state, and region-minus two-had been visited by this esteemed professor. I envied him.
This same professor taught a tour management class as well. I was keen to learn more. The final project for the class was a group project involving the entire class. As a class we planned a tour that could be done in the Salt Lake area. We rented a tour bus went to a couple haunted sites, a chocolate factory, and then we went on a helicopter ride. This was a dreamer's class.
Although I took classes in rock climbing, mountain climbing, backpacking, and wilderness survival as part of my degree I feel that I could have done so much more. Options were endless within the curriculum, from scuba diving to skiing. The time and money I spent into pursuing higher education killed any dreams other than finishing school.
This is what scared me about getting married, having a family, and having a career. I thought my dreams would cease. Seemingly, I was scared of getting old and the responsibilities of adulthood. The burial ground of dreams awaited in adulthood. As I got older, I just dreamt of being young forever. I shared the dreams of Mrs. Darling and Wendy. Neverland beckoned.
Contrary to my fears of adulthood my dreams survived. Tamed a bit but alive and well. Like a teenager yearning to leave his/her small town I would watch planes flying overhead wishing I was on one, going somewhere exotic, somewhere new, anywhere really. A plane, 35,000 feet in the air, sparked and symbolized my ever occurring dream to be somewhere I currently wasn't.
Sometimes dreams take a whole lot of effort to become a reality; sometimes dreams just fall into your lap. I like to think my little dream came into fruition due to a little of each. In the last six months I have been on more planes and stayed in more hotel rooms than the average citizen will in their entire life. I have spent all day and all night in a number of airports. I start my day on the west coast, eat lunch on the east coast, and return to lay my head down back on the west coast.
The world opened up to me in a way it only opens up at the sight of money, and although I feel very rich, I have no money to speak of. Naturally, there are still limitations. Fortunately, however, these limitations invite more dreams to flourish. What is a dream without a few roadblocks to overcome?
I may not dream as boldly as I use to but by god, once a dreamer, always a dreamer. I can't imagine a me without a fantastic dream of what the future might hold. Perhaps instead of dreams I should more aptly call them delusions of grandeur. The greatest of these grandiose delusions may be that I will write something worth reading. So I continue to dream and feed the fantastical dream with words from other dreamers, those that knew how to write something worth reading, those that knew how to make characters and stories come to life.
Speaking of dreams, it's that time of night where I should be dreaming in my sleep.
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